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01/16/20
Lars VerduzcoI play my proper role in this family, yet I’m starting to feel as if I’m not one of them. My skin bares cold life and I taste of metallic things. Everyone in my household has been sick throughout my entire life yet despite that, I’ve never had the feeling of a fever, or a cold at all. I’m starting to fear that something is wrong with me, as if I’m not truly human. I ask my mother why I don’t grow acne like the rest of the family do, she responds It’s just genetics, although I’m starting to think that’s not how it works.There is something wrong with me and I think my brother, Marcelo, is beginning to realize it too. I often analyze his actions and emotions and ever since he caught me standing over his bed in the middle of the night while I was asleep, he’s grown distance. Apparently it wasn’t the first time it happened, he was suspecting someone was walking into his room at night due to the door being left open when he wakes up despite him initially having it closed before he goes to sleep (And due to it being broken, he can’t lock it either). He also mentioned how I was muttering when it happened, and my lip formed a mechanical sneer. When I question him on what exactly I say during these occurrences, he refuses to answer and has an uncomfortable look on his face.Unfortunately after the night he had found out, it was the first of many of the same occurrences that I have no idea how to control. I blame it all on sleep walking, and I try my best to look up solutions on how to stop them yet I find none. I fear that I am affecting Marcelo mentally. I don’t want him to fear me, I just want us to have our brotherly bond again.